Reindeer can cover the entire globe in 24 hours and run on little more than gingerbread cookies and peppermint candy canes, but what happens when Santa decides they don’t cut it anymore? Sure, they’re quick, but his reindeer pull an open-roof sleigh that probably gets a little chilly.
Think about it. It’s only a matter of time before Santa trades his reindeer and sleigh for something with four wheels, an engine and heated seats. First and foremost, it has to be practical. He hauls a lot of stuff, so cargo space is definitely a priorotiy. Santa goes everywhere, so sending power to all wheels is a requirement. It should also be fast, because everyone knows Santa covers a lot of ground.
Photos: The best festive reindeer cars of the Internet
Oh, it also has to be red, for obvious reasons. There’s a lot to choose from out there, so let’s help the big guy narrow down his choices for a permanent spot on the Nice list.
The Marauder
It may be a military vehicle available for sale to the general public, but as Richard Hammond points out, the Marauder is perfectly capable at doing many everyday tasks. It can withstand a blast to its undercarriage from seven pounds of plastic explosives, but that particular detail might not be of utmost importance to Santa. At least the Marauder can certainly hold a night’s worth of gifts, and it can go literally anywhere.
The Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 6×6
Building on the civilian military vehicle theme, we think Santa could put the Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 6×6 to good use. Yes, the Maurader can be had in a six-wheel configuration, but this particular G-Class is actually quick. It comes with six wheels, five locking differentials, four turtle doves, three solid axles, two turbochargers bolted onto its V8 engine and a partridge in a pear tree. It’s also decidedly more luxurious than the Marauder, yet it can hold just as many toys in the back and can also go literally anywhere. This one isn’t red, but Santa can always custom order his wheels.
The Audi RS7
The bug guy’s name will be Santa ‘Swagger’ Claus if he opts for the Audi RS7.
Chris Balcerak, Driving
Now, the Audi RS7 isn’t exactly a go-anywhere off-road machine, but where it trumps the Marauder and the G63 AMG 6×6 is styling. It’s a sharp car, and finished in red, would certainly give Santa a fair bit of swagger. AWD means it’s sure-footed in the snow with a set of winter tires, and many liken it to a four-door R8 with 560 horsepower from its twin-turbo V8. Of course, it does have an extra set of rear doors and a hatch, but if that doesn’t cut it, Santa can always go for the RS6 Avant.
The Jeep Wrangler
The Wrangler is the staple for all things outdoorsy. It can plow through snowbanks and cut across jagged rocks, perfect for getting to all the good little boys and girls in remote areas. Plus, it’s affordable!
Handout, Chrysler
We understand Santa might be on a budget, which is why we’re recommending the Jeep Wrangler. It’s a capable machine in and of itself, and it’s basically the staple of all things outdoorsy. Santa shouldn’t have a problem navigating through snowbanks, rivers and rock beds when delivering presents to all the good boys and girls in the remote countryside.
The Ferrari FF
Come on, a 631-horsepower Ferrari that’s also practical? How can Santa not consider the FF?
Vincenzo Pinto, AFP/Getty Images
Say what you will, Ferraris do not look proper in any colour except for red. Maybe yellow, but we’re talking about Santa here, so it’s only fitting it earns a spot on the list. The Ferrari FF isn’t the most capable, being a low-slung sports car and all, but it certainly holds more name recognition than any car (and truck) mentioned so far. Like the RS7, the FF has a hatch, which means this prancing reindeer, err … horse, has an unexpected dose of practicality. How can Santa go wrong with a 651-horsepower Ferrari that can haul a fair bit of stuff?
Watch this guy cook a Christmas turkey like a boss with a Lamborghini Aventador. Yeah. We’re serious
