Parting with rig such sweet sorrow

As far back as I can remember, in the era of my being able to drive (or I should say, my ability to buy and sell), I have never been able to part with a vehicle without a lot of doubt and an equal amount of remorse.

Is that a guy thing? I don’t think so.

There are lady drivers who have the same problems parting with a vehicle, as do we guys, but then, most guys, in the blink of an eye, can recall every vehicle he’s owned since he found out how to shift a vehicle into gear.

To me, parting with a rig is the ultimate decision.

It’s almost like having to bury a beloved member of the family
— and at my age, that’s happened too often.

But let me tell you a couple stories about some weirdos.

I firmly believe the buyer’s attitude of today has shifted from ‘Oh wow’ to ‘I’m doing you a favour buying this piece of crap.’

When I am confronted with this attitude, I change too. Who wouldn’t?

One time, I was selling my conventional Freightliner (I had recently rebuilt the engine) and that had cost me somewhere up there in the five-figure category.

I simply wanted to update in year of the vehicle I ran on the highway. It was still a fine rig and it brought out the weirdos, one after another.

I remember saying on the phone one day to a guy who had called me four times “ … At my price, it’s just not worth my time to haggle with you, so just show up with the cash, or don’t buy it. I don’t want to hear your life story again. I will not pick up the phone again, and I have caller ID.”

This guy just wanted to talk about trucking until the cows came home. Like I have time for this? I just wanted to sell the damn truck.

Did he show up? No.

Did I sell it? Yes.

The guy who bought it didn’t even test drive it. He eventually did drive it and drove it to another province, so I never had to see it again, which was a good thing because I know that would have been tough on me. I forever question myself as to whether

I made the right decision to sell it. Maybe I should have kept it. Sound familiar? Another guy thing, right?

I am not a nice guy when it comes to selling my babies. The dudes who troll Craigslist are the ones who really get my blood boiling.

When my wife hears me saying to a prospective buyer on the phone, “What part of the ad didn’t you understand?” she leaves the room.

I know I married a smart gal and she knows I‘m just getting warmed up, and the phone is about to be deposited back in its cradle with extreme conviction.

I list everything in as few words as possible. I’m Scottish. I am thrifty. Everything is right in front of the prospective buyers’ eyes, yet I hear the same question, time after time after time. “What’s your best price?”

I usually answer with a number that’s 500 or an even a thousand dollars higher than the price in the ad.

Some callers then get the gist that

I am about to hang up and quickly get serious, or there is silence on their end of the phone, and I do hang up.

Sorry folks. I have no time for role playing when it comes to parting with a longtime family member.

Another Craigslist caller (and I question whether he actually lives on this planet) asked me if I had the vehicle’s complete maintenance record. I remember smiling when I heard that question. Here I was, selling a rig for well below the market value. I had just gone through it from one end to the other and it was running fine, but too old for my use. (That’s all in the ad, too.) So, I thought I’d play along with this maintenance record freak. By the way, the wife saw me smile, and quickly left the room. Smart gal.

I told this guy, “At this price buddy, you’re lucky I even have the keys.”

This visitor from another planet then, without missing a beat, asked me, “Can anyone there tell me about the vehicle?”

This was when I figured out he couldn’t read, either.

Yep. I hung up. I thought I was going to have fun with the guy, but he was too dumb to figure it out.

I still wonder, to this day, how he ever managed to get enough brain cells functioning to pass his Class 1 test. Maybe he had somebody else take the test for him.

Now, where have I heard that story before?

I could fill a news­paper with sto­ries about life on the road, but why not share yours with read­ers? Send them to Driving edi­tor An­drew McCredie at amccredie@sunprovince.com