Winter Road Test: 2014 Porsche Cayman S

I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

I’m strapped into the gorgeous, grey leather-trimmed sport seat of a 2014 Porsche Cayman S.  Just behind me, there’s a 3.4-litre flat-six cylinder engine with 325 horsepower of glorious German fury chomping at the bit to be unleashed.  That abundance of horsepower will hurtle the Cayman S to a mind-bending ‘track top speed’ of 281 km/h, so says Porsche.

And instead of giving the Porsche free reign on some dreamy smooth piece of swervery along the Mediterranean coast, I’m torture-testing Porsche’s new wundercar in the aftermath of a good, old-fashioned Canadian blizzard, right here in Edmonton.

There’s a thick layer of fresh powder snow blanketing Northern Alberta.  It’s the stuff that downhill skiers dream of.  Our Porsche Cayman S is one the first vehicles to venture onto the unplowed neighbourhood streets, and the slinky, ground-hugging missile is now little more than a curvaceously-bodied snowplow.  The front spoiler is bulldozing snow into the front air intakes and we’re crawling along at 20 km/h.  The wide P235 front tires, no matter how much I turn the steering wheel, suck the car straight ahead forcing it to track along the deep ruts from cars that have ‘broken trail’.

The Cayman advances grudgingly through the snow with its undercarriage banging and graunching noisily as it drags over chunks of frozen snow, remnants from a snowstorm less than a week earlier when we tested a new Carrera 4S Cabriolet.  The sound of frozen debris grinding against the belly of the $95,000 dollar Cayman makes me grimace.  I have the uncomfortable feeling that somewhere, there’s a god of exotic sports cars who’s watching and just tick marked my name.  And when my stint on earth is over, I’m going straight to hell for this wanton act of automotive abuse.

Porsche has wisely spooned on a set of Continental TS 830 P high performance winter tires to give it a fighting chance, but even aided by its rear mid-ship engine weight bias, in these abysmal conditions, the powerful rear-wheel-drive Cayman isn’t much fun.

There’s a myriad of Porsche performance aids that make driving the German sports car passable for winter duty.  There’s traction control (the warning light constantly flashes as I feather the throttle, feeling for traction), ABS, and Porsche Stability Management (which allows the rear end to drift out with a jab of throttle, giving a moment of joy when conditions allow.)  Snow covered public streets is no place to risk bending a borrowed $96,000 dollar car, but we did manage to see 0.30 Gs of lateral acceleration according to the car’s display – a fraction of what the Porsche is capable of.

As with the Carrera 4S Cabriolet we winter tested the week earlier, the coupe’s wide alloy rims pack full of snow, causing severe wheel imbalance.  At speeds above 60 km/h the Porsche shakes like a Magic Fingers vibrating bed in an old motel.

Despite these winter driving shortcomings, the 2014 Porsche Cayman S remains an ultra-desirable sports car.  Even on low traction, snow covered streets, the Cayman’s handling feels razor sharp.  Steering wheel weight and feedback are perfect and the brakes are easy to modulate.  Surprisingly, the Cayman S’s suspension, while sporting firm, is comfortable enough to make it a very attractive for everyday use.

The PDK transmission is a joy to use.  Acceleration is fierce (4.9 s 0-100 km/h claimed), and the howl of the 3.4-litre flat-six cylinder engine is one of the most joyous noises in the automotive world.

The Cayman’s cabin is beautifully executed and I prefer it to the pricier Carrera, especially when it comes to the readability of its 3-circle main instrument cluster.  (The Carrera has a 4-circle design, and its steering wheel annoyingly blocks portions of the display.)

For sure, the Cayman’s interior is snug, and storage space is in short supply.  There is no storage behind the seats – that’s where the engine is.  A shallow parcel shelf (atop the engine) is bookended by a pair of small, cubbyholes with sliding covers, and are the main places for small odds and sods.  Larger items have to be stored in the nose or small, carpeted space aft the engine.

The Cayman S’s purpose is well defined.  As one of the world’s finest sports cars, it is crafted around a minimalist philosophy – carry two people in a light weight, powerful vehicle with scalpel sharp handling, wrapped in gorgeous body.  It’s intended for drivers who want a driving experience where pure performance takes priority over excess luxury.

There’s no question the Cayman S delivers an exceptional driving experience, but that ultra-performance sports car character is difficult to fully appreciate when ploughing through snow.  We proved that with care and dedication, driving a Cayman S as a winter daily driver is do-able, but something I’d recommend only to the hardest core enthusiast.